EVERYDAY LIFE: The dentist

It was time.  A 35 year old root canal had given up and the tooth was ready to go.  Where I don’t know, maybe to the Tooth Fairy, but I think the fairy gave up on getting that tooth years ago.  Probably have to pay to get it out from under my pillow at this point.  One way or another it was going to come out soon, so I decided to let a dentist look at it.  At least they’d know what to do with it.  And maybe I’d be able to eat cold pizza without a fork again.
So where do you find a dentist?  The last one I went to 28 years ago was in Edmonds, WA.  Surely he was dead.  And his name was Dr. Cruikshank.  I had no desire to see any dentist named Cruikshank ever again.  I’m sure he was a good dentist, but the name still makes me shudder.  The only thing I clearly remember is that getting the Novocain shot felt worse than not getting it.  He’d wiggle the needle around to make sure you felt it, and every section of your mouth got at least 4 shots.
I could have used a phone book.  But that was just too confusing, so I pulled an issue of the Gazette out of the kitty litter box.  That’s where I found my dentist.  Not in the litter box, in the paper.  Truth is we don’t have a cat or a litter box, but I do have a dentist.  And his name isn’t Cruikshank.
Before I had time to think about it I was walking through the door to Ellis Dentistry for my first appointment.  What I found there was scary, but only in the incongruity of not being what a dentist office is supposed to be.  Or how it’s supposed to be when your dentist is Cruikshank and you haven’t been there in 28 years.  The people there are nice.  Nothing they did hurt.  And Barb my hygienist was stoked to clean the disgusting filth of 28 years out of my mouth.
But first the x-rays, sure enough that tooth was ready to come out.  In fact the x-ray showed it hanging there without a stitch of bone holding it in.  Looking at it all you could do was wonder how it hadn’t dropped to floor years ago.  Seems cracks associated with the 35 year old root canal had allowed bacteria to get into the bone and eat it away.  Yuck and ouch.  But did it bother me ever?  Well it used to once in awhile but the pain only lasted a couple of days then would go away.  I’d forget about until the next time.  And frankly, it hadn’t really hurt in over a year.  Well no wonder dumb___.  You can fill in the blank.
Three hours later after what to me was a thorough clean, I found out I had to come back for two more two hour deep cleaning sessions.  And still Barb remained stoked.  I guess she figured by the time she got done with me she’d finally be able to stand my breath.  I sure hope so.  So does my wife.
Next stop is the orthodontist.  He doesn’t advertise in the local paper, so I won’t mention his name.  But I’m sure I’ll have more stories after he yanks out my tooth, and the little one next to it for good measure.  Amazingly after 28 years without seeing a dentist, or a Cruikshank, I didn’t have one cavity. But my teeth are falling out anyway. It’s going to cost me about $200 apiece to have them yanked. And no Tooth Fairy, these teeth are well past their prime and not worth a wooden nickel.

John McKnight has been exploring Whatcom and Skagit counties for over 25 years. He can be e-mailed at john@foothillsgazette.com.